Fabio & Merrill

Is your marriage working the way you want?

Typically, a marriage does not suddenly fall apart, rather, there is a steady decline in the relationship. And as time passes, a spouse may not even realize the degree to which things have deteriorated. But if you are starting to have doubts about the future of your marriage, it may be time to assess the situation.

All marriages have peaks and valleys, and you may just be going through a down period. But prolonged issues are quite another story and should be addressed. There are a number of signs that your marriage could be in trouble. Of course, if your spouse is physically abusive, you need to do whatever you can for safety's sake. But often marriages suffer from more subtle but destructive behaviors.

For example, it is extremely problematic if your spouse is constantly putting you down or is argumentative. Being consistently subject to verbal and emotional abuse is not just unpleasant, it can have a profoundly negative impact on your sense of self-worth.

And it can be equally bad if your spouse is so self-absorbed that he or she fails to recognize your needs. Also, it can be very difficult if your spouse blames you for his or her problems and tries to wear you down with guilt.

If you are coming to the conclusion that your happiness and well-being are being negatively affected by your marriage, it may be time to consider getting a divorce. But this would be a big decision, and it would be a good idea to discuss the matter with an experienced family law attorney before filing your divorce papers. The attorney can tell you what to expect from the divorce process and can offer advice on how to prepare for the next steps.

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